


Wojciech Szczesny is a Curious Prick

by lnfamy



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Fluff, Humour, I'm Sorry, M/M, maybe a bit of a crack fic too I DON'T KNOW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 16:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5463689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lnfamy/pseuds/lnfamy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wojciech looks up Robert's phone and finds something he wasn't supposed to find. Set during Poland's Euro 2016 qualifications game against Germany in Warsaw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wojciech Szczesny is a Curious Prick

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Wojciech Szczesny is A Curious Prick](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/163463) by lnfamy. 



> oh my god I am nervous. okay, first of all this is a translation of my own fic, which was written in Russian. yep, English is not my first language, so I'm apologising in advance for everything that comes out of it. I just really felt like translating this one, this small work is very important to me though it really makes less sense with each time i read it lmao  
> okay, enjoy your reading, if you notice any mistakes don't hesitate to comment and correct me, it will be much appreciated!

"Leeewy!" Wojciech doubted that Robert could hear him through the hum of water, so to make himself more "clear" he also was banging on the wall near his bed, which was the same wall that was separating their room and the bathroom.

"Lewy, your phone's been blowing up. Aren't you tired of getting soaked? You're gonna flood Grzegorz and Kamil."

He got no response, but the sound of still humming water. Wojciech lazily looked over to the damn thing. For about five minutes straight, Robert's phone has been pushing notifications about newcoming messages in the chat, which was seriously disturbing Wojciech's comfort. Maybe at Arsenal he is always up to raise some hell, but he gives everyone at the national team some free time off himself.  
Even though Poland is playing against Germany tomorrow and technically there is no time for resting, but Wojciech really wanted to have some "me" time after that training. Can't be blamed here.

And Robert's phone tingled again. Wojciech realised that he wanted to know, who was trying to get at Robert so badly just out of principle. But he still didn't move a muscle. He thought about how could he resolve this situation, but thought of nothing better than still trying to get to Robert with yelling.

"Robert! If you don't come out of there immediately, I will go and see who's been messaging you! Everyone knows you don't have a passcode on."

Zero reaction. Wojciech decided to proceed to his so-called "Plan B" and stopped banging on the wall, but kept on laying in his bed.

"I got up from the bed, if you're wondering." Wojciech kept yelling.

"I'm very close to it! I'm near your bedside table right NOW! I'm slowly unlocking your phone... Lewy, for god's sake!" 

Wojciech was scared to imagine what other guys whose rooms were nearby were gonna think of them. But he also could not understand, how did Robert not hear him. He didn't think that they started making soundproof bathrooms in Warsaw. That couldn't be possible.

The phone kept tingling and Wojciech's curiosity fired up. Who could that possibly be? Probably it was that Anya gal, who was excited to tell her friend about some new fancy fitness program. Or maybe it was that Reus lad, who was injured once again and was whining about missing another meeting with an ex-teammate. Wojciech shouldn't care. He shouldn't care at all. So why exactly was he standing there, in front of Robert's bed, throwing odd looks at his phone?

His curiosity finally won over, but to be fair Wojciech never denied that his meticulousness was not one of his bestest traits, rather than vice versa. The phone blinked again. A few notifications were up there, the last one was received about 30 seconds ago. 

[5:05PM] pferdeliebhaber89: stop ignoring me pole

[5:05PM] pferdeliebhaber89: hey pole

[5:05PM] pferdeliebhaber89: yo pole

Of course. Wojciech rolled his eyes at his own slowness. German language. Obviously it was someone from Robert's club, someone he is probably going to meet tomorrow on the pitch. Wojciech was ready to roll his eyes again, because: a) why would anyone bother Robert if you just saw each other a few days ago; b) and you're going to see each other again tomorrow. But then he remembered how furiously he texted Wilshere over some stupid stuff just this morning, and he just grinned. The screen blinked again.

[5:07PM] pferdeliebhaber89: i kinda miss you now

And a few seconds later.

[5:08PM] pferdeliebhaber89: and im rly bored

Wojciech glanced anxiously at the door to the bathroom. The sound of the running water didn't stop for a second. Suddenly, he felt very tense, he felt goosebumps crawling up his arms and he clenched his fists. And he couldn't explain what caused him to react like that. He wasn't gonna do anything mean, was he? He and Robert were friends, right? Wojciech just wanted to see, maybe even tell the person, that Robert was going to talk to them later. Anyway it was a good chance to use his poor knowledge of German language. A very good one. And who exactly Robert ended up befriending so quickly in Bayern? He has been playing in the Bundesliga for a long time, but he had just moved to Munich...

Wojciech thought that a whole eternity has passed before he took the phone in his hands and unlocked it. The noise of running water was still there. Wojciech scrolled up on the conversation, but didn't see anything unusual. There was just some replies like "we landed!", "Have a safe flight", "we're gonna win for sure" and so on. It was certainly one of the Germans, but it remained unknown who exactly it was. It was also because for some reason Robert never said the person's name, though it still was just a chat.  
Wojciech slowly sat down on Robert's bed and kept scrolling up the conversation, eyes locked with the screen. He was reading the earlier conversations now, there was a lot of stuff about training sessions, about how weird it was to play "behind closed doors" with no fans, about Pep being a "total minging knobhead" and etc. Wojciech was actually a bit proud of himself for understanding the majority of their replies, even though sometimes the other person had said some really weird words that were beyond Woj's knowledge. What was also very weird, it's that Wojciech scrolled past almost two weeks of conversation, but he still hadn't a clue of who that mysterious person was. Maybe that was something that was pushing Wojciech to go on. It was, until he stumbled across a message that almost made him drop the phone from his hands and his eyes went wide.

[02:41 AM 19/09/2014] pferdeliebhaber89: damn i came in my pants without even touching myself

[02:43 AM 19/09/2014] lewy_9: You will never change, will you

[02:44 AM 19/09/2014] pferdeliebhaber89: ((((: sleep tight lewy boy

Wojciech was struck with confusion, he was bewildered, maybe his German wasn't that good after all and it wasn't something he thought it was? Pressing his thumb back to the screen he scrolled a bit up, and it all came clear to him.

[02:26 AM 19/09/2014] pferdeliebhaber89: no, still early  
[02:27 AM 19/09/2014] pferdeliebhaber89: squeeze yourself at the base  
[02:27 AM 19/09/2014] pferdeliebhaber89: for a couple of seconds  
[02:28 AM 19/09/2014] pferdeliebhaber89: and without releasing the fingers stroke along the length

Wojciech's face was red in the colour straight away and he couldn't understand if his brain was humming so loudly or the water was still running in the bathroom.

[02:29 AM 19/09/2014] lewy_9: I won't last for long  
[02:30 AM 19/09/2014] pferdeliebhaber89: take the hand off  
[02:30 AM 19/09/2014] lewy_9: Ughhhhh  
[02:31 AM 19/09/2014] pferdeliebhaber89: lick your palm from the base till the tip of the middle finger

The noise from the bathroom stopped suddenly and Wojciech thought that someone slapped him. Various noises could be heard from there now, the noise of the shutter being pulled over, the sound of bare feet on the tile. Wojciech got really scared, thinking he got caught red-handed. He quickly closed the app, locked the phone and put it back from where he took it, and retreated to his own bed. Finally there was the sound of the door being unlocked and Robert himself showed up round the corner. Very wet and very half-naked.

"Wojtek, you couldn't yell louder, could you? Like you would've heard my response. Grzegorz will be imitating your screams the entire morning".

Robert, as if nothing happened, went up to his bedside table and picked up his phone. Wojciech inhaled sharply at that.

"What's wrong with you?" Robert asked, cautiously looking over at Wojciech. 

Wojciech himself was scared to even imagine how he looked like at that very moment.

"I am. Well, you know. It's hot in here, isn't it? Weird, right? 'Cause like, it's October, right?" 

Wojciech was feeling his face heating up. He couldn't even look at Robert, so naturally he was just staring at the ceiling.  
Robert laughed softly and looked back at his phone.

"Yeah, of course, you powered up the heat and you're wearing your warmest hoodie. And we just had a training an hour ago. Please, just don't catch a cold."

"Whatever can happen to me. You know Fabianski can stand in the goal. Arsenal's impact, you know."

Wojciech was just happy that Robert seemed to not notice anything and he was happy to joke around and forget about all that has happened a few minutes ago.

"Well, you know that Lukasz plays for Swansea now. And no, Wojtek, I need you. How will I run forward to score if you're not gonna be guarding down there behind me? I'll go nowhere without my Wojtek."

Robert got up from his bed and put his phone back. Then he turned around to his luggage, showing Wojciech his back, which allowed him to look at Robert again.

Wojciech, who was derailed for at least all past 10 minutes was really surprised by Robert's train of thought. Usually Wojciech would crack up a joke, but this situation was far from normal. Even though Wojciech was the only one aware of it.

"Did you boil your brain in all that steam? Or has the water made you so soft? Do I have to mark today's date as a holiday? The international 'Robert Lewandowski is a big softie at heart' Day?" 

"No, I'm just in a really good mood. And you're being an ass."

Robert calmly responded while changing into clean clothes with Poland's national team's symbols on it. Wojciech didn't know what to think. But something he knew for sure, that was a beginning of something very odd, 'cause this sinking feeling in his chest never really let him down. And it wasn't because of the upcoming game at all.

***

The game itself went better than they could ever imagined, for Wojciech especially. Keeping a clean sheet against the World Cup champions was a dream of any goalkeeper, if they were thirteen years old or maybe thirty. His head was buzzing, Wojciech was really pleased that they made the fans so happy and proud, and of course he was happy about the first three points.

Lukas Podolski appeared out of nowhere, tightly hugging Wojciech and saying something either in English or Polish, and after slapping him on the back, he went on on congratulating the Poles on the win and consoling his own teammates.

Wojciech slowly made his way to the tunnel, shaking hands with everyone on his way. He was giving happy smiles to the winners and empathic smiles to the losers.

After he got his biggest praise of the night from Adam Nawalka himself, he sped up to the tunnel. But just as he escaped the ruckus of the stadium he saw two figures leaning in to each other and he immediately thought of everything that happened last night. All those things he tried to stop himself from thinking about the entire day. Robert was rabidly talking to someone in a black-red striped uniform, to Thomas Muller exactly, who was also Robert's club teammate. Two men were standing close to each other, their heads bowed, and Thomas, nevertheless the loss, was grinning. Sometimes it seemed that he was always doing so, no matter what was happening around him.

Wojciech tensed up immediately. All this time prior to the game he was putting off those intrusive thoughts, which sometimes seemed like an impossible thing to do. Especially when Robert was shaking German players' hands. With the ones who were his ex-teammates and the ones who were his current ones.

Wojciech immediately thought that Robert knows hell lot of Germans.

Shaking his head, Wojciech moved forward to the couple, not even thinking about what he was going to say. He wasn't even sure that Thomas was that "mysterious person" from Robert's chat, but what's done is done, and the men acknowledged Wojciech arrival by turning their heads to him.

"Thomas! That was one hell of a game! A very unpredictable result, but you put up a great fight."  
Wojciech composed in cranky German with a horrible accent. Of course reading is much easier than speaking.  
Robert put his palm to his face, covering his eyes. He was prepared to get very very embarrassed.  
Thomas, on the other hand, just laughed and grinned once again.

"Thank you, thank you. I actually thought you were gonna make a mess here, and then give us hell in Germany. But see you in the 1/8 of the Champions League, am I right?"  
He winked at Wojciech, without tearing that grin from his face.

Wojciech laughed, even though he didn't really feel like laughing at all. Robert tore his hand from his face, but he looked like he could and was gonna kill someone with his stare.

"Never in a thousand years." Wojciech replied to Thomas, and the latter laughed again, clapping Robert on the back.

Robert twitched from that and Wojciech paid way too much attention to that than necessary. 

Lukas Podolski appeared beside them, grabbing them all in his bear hug, bubbling something in either Polish or German, or maybe even English, about world's peace and national unity.

***

Wojciech really wanted to know the reason why Robert was so tense. They have won, even though Robert didn't score and had only one shot on goal. Well, he also got a yellow card there, but Robert was never the one to get upset over such things, wasn't he? They went to sleep in silence, only exchanging quit "good night"'s with each other. 

But Wojciech was still very nervous. Could Robert find out in some way? Or he actually gave himself away somehow? But how? How could he possibly give himself away?

Wojciech's sleep was light and dreamless, and when he woke up, he was still feeling tired. He got up from his bed and saw Robert was gone, his bed unmade and his things neatly folded. Probably already gone to breakfast.

He made his way down to the hotel's food court. The first thing he heard was the loud laughter of his teammeates. Remembering last night's game, the smile crawled up his lips. 

Grzegorz Krychowiak's loud voice rang down the hall.

"Tomasz, but no! Why did you try to pull his pants down?"  
He was making fun of said Tomasz Jodlowiec, who was sitting beside him, red in the face. But Wojciech had no idea why.

Lukasz Piszczek was next.

"He is probably not getting enough of his own naked men in the showers!"

The hall echoed with laughter once again, Tomasz himself was laughing with the others.

"You lot can't just let this go, can you. Stuff like that just happens, why are you acting like a bunch of kids!"

Here came grumbling voice of Lukasz Fabianski, who wasn't in a very good mood apparently. 

"What did I miss? Your laughter is gonna wake up all the people in the hotel." Wojciech took a seat beside Lewandowski and Piszszek.

Grzgegorz, without losing a second, pulled his phone out of his pocket and gave it to Wojciech, and there was a picture of... Wojciech laughed loudly and everyone joined him once again. Fabianski rolled his eyes and Piszczek probably found the funniest thing on earth.

"Jodlowiec, I had no idea you have such tender feelings for Toni Kroos! And his butt! And you were not afraid to show it!"  
Wojciech had his say in this. Robert was smiling, but still something was off about him, as he cautiously looked at Wojciech.

Woj quickly looked over from him and gave Grzegorz his phone back.

Wojciech was confused and he didn't understand what was happening between him and Robert, when, naturally, nothing has happened. It was not about Robert sexting with his teammate, and it was not about it being his teammate, it was all nothing. But what was actually turning Wojciech's brain into a mush, he couldn't say, and it made everything even worse. How is he gonna be concentrated on the games and such?  
They had a game again Scotland in two days, and scots made some trouble for the Germans already, but Wojciech wasn't that worried. He thought about texting Jack later.  
Robert and Wojciech spent the remaining time of the breakfast in silence.

***

After the breakfast was over all players made their ways in different directions. Some went back to their rooms, some decided to spend some time in the gym. Some were pulled over and dragged to give some interviews. Robert and Wojciech were both in the latter, so under the eye of the Polish media team they were thrown into a mini-bus and taken to the sports' newspaper office.

In the bus Wojciech was seated next to Robert, and the uneasy silence between them kept pressing. Wojciech couldn't stop thinking that it wouldn't be long before everyone else notices their tension and questions will be asked, and it was the last thing that Wojciech wanted. Maybe he imagined it all and everything was just fine. There he was, Robert Lewandowski, one of Europe's best strikers, the captain of Poland national team, his old friend and they get along just fine.  
Robert himself had no idea of Wojciech's thinking, who was going off the rails. Woj shook his head and told himself to put himself together.  
They took out their phones almost at the same time, both laughed nervously at that. Wojciech went on to read his Twitter feed and Robert started furiously texting someone. Once again, Wojciech tensed and this time it didn't escape Robert's attention.

"Wojtek, is there anything you want to tell me?" Robert said without tearing his eyes off his phone's screen.

Wojciech swallowed nervously.

"No. Why do you think so?" 

It was a miracle that Wojciech's voice wasn't trembling.

"Oh. No, nothing. I must be imagining things then."

Robert said indifferently. It was amazing, how Wojciech managed to feel annoyed, embarrassed and confused all at the same time, but that all was happening to him. He thought that the smoke is going go out of his ears any second.

"Robert, listen..."

"Wojtek, let's keep it for later, alright? We can talk tonight. I haven't slept too well and we have a very boring and annoying interview ahead, you know that" Said Robert in a harsh voice, rubbing his eyes. He turned away from Wojciech, facing the window now.

Wojciech frowned at that, but at the same time was a bit happy that things went like that, because he actually had no idea what he was going to say to Robert. The day promised to be very long.

***

When they were back at the hotel, Robert rushed back to their room, which once again left Wojciech very confused. After all those years he was seeing Robert like that for the first time. It was like someone else took over his body, he could barely recognize Robert. Or maybe someone took over Wojciech's own body, he couldn't really tell at this point. But if someone took over his own body, he would have noticed it, right? 

Wojciech wanted to bang his head on the wall because of these thoughts, what was he even thinking about?

He went over to the hotel's backyard. No one was there, maybe because the autumn was pretty chilly this year. Though the small pool still had water in it and a pile of dirty orange leaves was calmly floating there.  
Wojciech was groomily looking at the leaves, so he didn't notice how Grzegorz came up to him.

"I hope you're not planning on smoking there." Grzegorz Krychowiak was in a disgustingly good mood, as always.

"Do you not have to be pain in the ass somewhere else?" Wojciech barked back. Grzegorz only laughed and slightly punched his arm.

"Oh, come on, you. Wanna go for a swim?" He dipped the tip of his shoe into the water, picking up a leaf. Wojciech gave him a questioning look in the reply and took two steps back, just to be safe.  
Grzegorz kicked the leaf back, and turned to Wojciech, still smiling.

"How was the 'view, they tortured you well enough? And why Lewy was running so fast? Almost kicked me down to the ground, was running like his feet were on fire." He said moodily, looking up to the sky.

"How would I know? If he was in a hurry, that means something was important."

"You are acting funny, Wojtek. And so is Lewy. You both are acting funny, actually." Krycha was almost pouting, but Woj wasn't paying attention to that.  
That's what he was scared of, that other people will notice that tension between him and Robert, even though it appeared just over 48 hours ago.

Replying nothing, Wojciech made a pause, then suddenly grabbed Grzegorz by the arm, pushed him slightly towards the pool and then harshly pulled him towards himself. 

Grzegorz shrieked and it scared off a flock of birds off the nearest tree.

"FUCK OFF, WOJTEK! I came here to find out why my dear mate is all so sad and moody, and he wants to fucking kill me! It's your fucking English mentality! How heartless!" He kept yelling.

Wojciech just laughed.

"You're alive and well, it's all good."

"Yeah, yeah, I almost died, by the way."

Now Wojciech rolled his eyes.

He spent about 30 more minutes in the backyard, Grzegorz left in about 10 minutes after "the loud incident", saying something about Wojciech being absolutely useless today or something like that.  
Wojciech slowly made his way to their room and, surprisingly, Robert was in the shower again. But this time he couldn't tell how long.

He sat on his bed, in anticipation of an uneasy conversation. He tried to think, what were they going to talk about? What will he say? And how did Robert know? That last question kept Wojciech on the edge. 

But he had no time to go deep into that thought as Robert's phone tingled again. With that damn sound again.

Wojciech looked over at the godforsaken thing, the thoughts in his head a mess. He looked over at the bathroom door, then back at the phone, back at the door, and back at the phone again.  
Thinking about that nothing can possibly be worse, he stood up and made his way to Robert's bed in two steps. The phone blinked again. Same sending ID.

[7:36PM] pferdeliebhaber89: u are an ugly slug

[7:34PM] pferdeliebhaber89: i still thnk youre overthinking this entire thing

Wojciech raised his eyebrows and took the phone in his hands. He unlocked it and proceeded to reading once again, not without thinking that he should pay attention to the sounds from the bathroom more carefully. But then he immediately forgot about that.

 

[6:16PM] lewy_9: I don't understand what is going on

[6:17PM] pferdeliebhaber89: and i dont know what you want from me

[6:18PM] pferdeliebhaber89: i already told you everything

[6:18PM] pferdeliebhaber89: better just talk to him

[6:19PM] lewy_9: Talk about what? How do you imagine this

[6:21PM] lewy_9: "Hey, you know, Wojciech, someone might have told me that you've read one my kind of private conversation. Is this why you have been on edge?" Yeah?

[6:22PM] pferdeliebhaber89: youre so dramatic

[6:22PM] pferdeliebhaber89: worse than manu

[6:23PM] lewy_9: Oh, thanks a lot

[6:24PM] pferdeliebhaber89: oh come on !! YOU AND ME WE HAVE NO OBLIGATIONS ROBERT

[6:25PM] pferdeliebhaber89: MAYBE THATS WHAT HE THINKS

[6:26PM] pferdeliebhaber89: who knows maybe hes jealous

[6:26PM] lewy_9: Yeah, right

[6:27PM] pferdeliebhaber89: and he actually dreams about getting a handjob from u

 

If Wojciech was drinking, he'd choke.

 

[6:28PM] lewy_9: THOMAS!

And then he would have choked again. But at the same time he was still a bit happy that he was right about something.

[6:29PM] pferdeliebhaber89: ive been thomas for a long time

[6:29PM] pferdeliebhaber89: but u listen to me u mingpot

[6:30PM] pferdeliebhaber89: just talk to him

[6:31PM] pferdeliebhaber89: tell him that he didn't do a nice thing really

[6:32PM] pferdeliebhaber89: make him hear something good old

[6:32PM] pferdeliebhaber89: like

[6:33PM] pferdeliebhaber89: we're still friends, everythings ok

[6:34PM] lewy_9: Easier said, than done

[6:35PM] pferdeliebhaber89: offer him a handjob as well

[6:36PM] pferdeliebhaber89: dont think he will say no

[6:36PM] lewy_9: I hate you so much

[6:37PM] pferdeliebhaber89: :****

[6:37PM] lewy_9: I am going to shower

[6:38PM] lewy_9: I don't talk to you any more

[6:38PM] pferdeliebhaber89: YOU BROKE MY VERY HEART

[6:39PM] pferdeliebhaber89: i feel like marco now

[6:41PM] pferdeliebhaber89: robert lewandowski, youve got no soul

[7:01PM] pferdeliebhaber89: well actually, once you were drunk you kept bubbling  
[7:04PM] pferdeliebhaber89: «if i slept someone from my national team it would be wojtiek!!!"

[7:06PM] pferdeliebhaber89: when u go back i need to find out why woijtek

[7:09PM] pferdeliebhaber89: i shouldnt been writing that

[7:10PM] pferdeliebhaber89: what if hes reading again

[7:10PM] pferdeliebhaber89: hmmmm

The last few messages threw Wojciech off, like he suddenly fell back in reality. Or maybe it was the sound of the bathroom door being shut that brought him back. Water wasn't running anymore, so that could only mean that...

Wojciech slowly looked up. Robert was stood in front of him, once again, wet and very half naked, with a towel around his hips.  
However, his face remained calm.

Wojciech thought about throwing the phone out of the window and pretending he doesn't know anything. Then he thought about throwing himself out of the window, right into that pool.

"So, what does this all mean?" Robert asked calmly and Wojciech wanted to scream. He looked at the phone, then at Robert.

Robert just crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow in question.

If earlier on the bus Wojciech was thinking about smoke coming out of his ears, it definitely must be happening now.

"I am. Here. You know." Started blabbering Wojciech. "I don't know."  
"What do you not know?" It's like he was teasing him.

"You're trying to fucking tease me, aren't you! I am losing my mind here!" Wojciech said, trying his best not to yell 'cause Gzergorz was probably back in his room already.

Robert finally changed his facial expression from "indifferent" to "slightly surprised".

"So it's my fault, huh!? I was the one who got into someone else's phone?"

"I warned you, by the way!" And that was true, actually.  
"How did you even know?"

Robert sighed.

"Thomas told me. Messages were marked as read, and I replied only after half an hour or so. And I never do that, he knows."

"Looks like he knows a lot." Wojciech said quietly, but Robert heard that.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, he knows a lot, your Thomas. How long have you been doing that, huh? Or is it normal there in Munich?"

Wojciech was still holding on Robert's phone for his dear life. He couldn't believe his own reaction, but he was too winded up to stop.

Robert rubbed his face with his hands and sighed again.

"Wojtek..."

"WHAT!? What 'Wojtek'!? Why did you have to keep me in such state for so long? I have been freaking out like hell!"

"You're not the only one, you know that!? And for whatever reason you think that you have the right to be angry here!? YOU got into my private chat and you think you have the audacity to reason me over something!?"

Robert was close to yelling, red in the face. Wojciech had nothing to say to that, but he just kept starting at Robert's face, brows furrowed.

"And anyway... Maybe Thomas was right and you are jealous..."

Wojciech was really not expecting that, but it's as if something clicked in his head and he relaxed in a second. He sadly looked over at the phone he still was holding, and looked up at Robert again.

"I don't know. I don't know, Robert."

Wojciech sighed and the tension, that has been holding on between them disappeared in a moment. Only the awkwardness and the feeling of something being left unsaid remained there. 

Wojciech thought again about the past two days being some kind of screwed up dream, and it's all because of sexting, who would have thought.

But then Robert grinned and the awkwardness followed the tension and disappeared right off. 

"Wojtek, you're such a silly weirdo."

"Hey, why am I a silly-"

He couldn't finish the sentence, because Robert leaned in and shut his mouth up with a kiss. Wojciech kept his lips sealed and looked at Robert, his brain still a mess. 

He also noticed that Robert smelled really nice.

Robert leaned back and looked at Wojciech in confusion.

"I still don't understand why I am silly."

Wojciech's cheeks flushed suddenly, which really wasn't a lot like himself and he put his head down. Robert laughed softly.

"Just 'cause, Wojtek. Just because."

Wojciech slightly punched his arm and Robert laughed again. All those things that have happened in the past two days seemed to have melt off, the air was prickling with something else now.

Robert kept looking at Wojciech.

"So anyway, about that other thing. You would have really liked me to-"

"Yes." Quickly replied Wojciech and this time he leaned over and kissed Robert.

***

Wojciech woke up because Robert kept kicking his legs. They fit nicely in one bed, but maybe that was what was making Robert kicking him. He couldn't be scoring goals in a dream, could he?  
Wojciech wanted to mentally punch himself. He warned himself to never joke like that again.  
He turned around, back to Robert and facing the bedside table, where that damn phone was laying there. It was almost expecting him to turn, because in the text second it went off again.  
Wojciech cursed everything and picked it up. The sending ID was still the same.

[00:24AM] pferdeliebhaber89: im so happy you finally jerked him off!!!

[00:26AM] pferdeliebhaber89: maybe in a month there will be much more

[00:29AM] pferdeliebhaber89: just for gods sake robert use protection

[00:31AM] pferdeliebhaber89: or arsenals u18 isnt gonna have enough places

Wojciech rolled his eyes, turned the phone off and put it back. He pressed himself back to Robert's chest and thinking about how sometimes it's better to stay straightforward, he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> [here](https://headbandsandheartbreak.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/tumblr_ndd3m5fayj1te9jx5o2_500.png) is that picture they were talking about. it still makes me laugh a lot, jesus.  
>  'Wojtek' is a pet name of Wojciech's name, if I'm not mistaken. definitely heard Robert calling him like that in some Polish interviews. also yep, I made Wojciech speak German here just because. god I miss Wojciech, my problematic fave


End file.
